Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Tamilnadu-Land of temples

I recently returned from a trip to Kumbakonam and Mayavaram last weekend. The trip was successful as primary objective(Tirumanancheri) was achieved, however due to lack of time, most of the temples which were in the travel list were not covered. But I believe that temples should be explored in an aesthetic manner, without rushing for the sake of numbers and should be enjoyed in an aesthetic sense. While I don't approve Tamilnadu's anti-brahmin attitude(google for more information) and silly politics, I should honestly accept the fact that I respect TN primarily due to wonderful temples and some great people who live in regions of Mayavaram, Kumbakonam, Thanjavur, Trichy, Kanchipuram and Madurai. People are amazingly simple, kind and if you ask for directions for temple they answer with involvement rather than sake of it, or else consult with the person standing next to them and then reply. This is something amazing. While I agree with the fact that culprits, pick pockets, rogues could be found everywhere in the world and danger could come from anywhere, TN appears to be a relatively stable state.

The amount of satisfaction I get while visiting temples has no bounds. Amazing and sheer bliss. Lots and lots of temples with interesting sthala puranams, story behind and how it came to existence is available either as a book or in the Internet. After doing hard work at workplace in the corporate world, I get my batteries charged up only at places like Kumbakonam, Trichy and Madurai primarily.

Covering regions like Kumbakonam, Thanjavur and Mayavaram is humanly impossible in one go! Even if you target Kumbakonam for a trip, a week may not be enough. Maybe possible to cover all but only in numbers and not in spiritual sense. It would take a good 30mins to 2 hours for each temple depending on size, crowd and sculptures/things to see.

I am currently collecting information about temples in the following areas/regions and I hope to cover them in future trips. I may need to travel multiple times to the same place to cover temples as I can travel only during weekends and I need to return back to my city(for work) which is 350km far from these places. Weekends are just not enough! Considering the amount of money invested in buses, if properly planned in advance I can save some money by traveling in train as trains are cheap.

Regions to be covered:-

* Temples around Madurai.

* Most temples around Tiruchi have been covered. Planning to cover temples along Tiruchi-Kulithalai-Erode section.


* Thanjavur and temples between Thanjavur-Tiruchi and Thanjavur-Kumbakonam.

* Kumbakonam-This is massive and it requires a lot of days! A weekend is just not enough. There are many temples around Kumbakonam and it would be a wonderful experience to travel in and around Kumbakonam.

* Mayavaram/Sirkazhi-Thirunangur(11 Divya desams) and other nearby areas are in plan.

* Kanchipuram-Not to miss. Kanchipuram is also a must for any temple lover.

While I have visited all these places earlier, I still didn't have enough time in the past to cover all sites due to sheer number of temples present in these areas. So with the blessings of God, when I travel next again I hope to see the temples to which I haven't been even once. While I would love to do it again and see a few again, but still the unknown seems to be more exciting.

The real spice or taste lies in the fact that it is more enjoyable that if you read the history/wonders about a temple and then visit it. The joy is endless! Happy visiting temples folk.

God bless Tamilnadu!

Good luck.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Anything for Chicago, but nothing for Gobichettipalyam

Hi all,

Today is the day I decided that I should write an article with some humor, crime, dedication, professionalism and evil. There is no better example than Indian IT Service industry :-). This article hasn't got a specific subject nor a story nor any message intended, it is just a description of events about how life goes in Indian IT industry. It would be a good sort of entertainment and we should all laugh it out. Though few incidents mentioned here are a bit serious, please do read it as a comedy.

Before starting with this article, due to my strong personal convictions I would like to say the following:
1. I am from Chennai(Tamilnadu) and I love my home state Tamilnadu just like Jharkhand, Orissa, Kerala and other states of India.
2. I appreciate good code of conduct and value it more than money. One should carry themselves with dignity.
3. I understand that Software Engineering is a great field and it is privilege to be called a Developer as Developers are architects of Software and they create solutions. Creation is a tough task than destruction.
4. I personally don't approve forming affinity groups. (Tamil speaking with Tamil, Telugu sitting with Telugu only). Knowledge could be gained only if you interact with good Engineers.

For those who are not working in IT industry must go through the following points without missing any of them. Let me know how much you know about it. I bet that you won't know all.

1. Software Engineer is a general term. Within software industry there are many roles and designations depending on which career path and learning curve varies. They can be broadly classified into the following types: Developer, Tester, Support Member. A developer is the one who writes codes in a computer language like Java, C, C++ and creates a software. A tester is the person who tests the software created by Developer and approves whether it meets the requirements. A support staff are the one who are primarily involved in assisting the above mentioned Developer and Tester and apart from that they may or may not take care of infrastructure duties like maintaining systems, computers, performing disk cleanups and many activities even not related to project.

2. Projects are of many types: Development, Enhancement, Maintenance, Support, Testing. Development offers the maximum learning growth, while Enhancement and Maintenance gives a good exposure to technologies. Development is about creating software. Enhancement and Maintenance involves making changes to existing software. Support is the one which could hinder an employee's growth if the job is primarily about writing emails. Testing is also a good career option as it generally requires a mindset to find a bug or an error in the application. Generally, Developers switch companies often as they have enough knowledge and they can survive in any environment.

3. Let's describe the IT industry. Indian IT giants like Infosys, TCS, Cognizant and many others are service oriented companies. It means they work for "others" or in business terms they work for 'clients' or 'customers'. Many US/UK banks like Bank of America, Barclays, Capital one, State Street, Standard Bank, manufacturing companies like General motors, retail outlets like Tesco, telecom/networking companies like Cisco, Alcatel Lucent, Aricent, British Telecom outsource their software needs to Indian companies as they gain profit by outsourcing them to India which has a strong workforce.

Companies like Oracle, Google, Cisco, Cienna, Microsoft could be defined as product companies as they don't work in service line like Indian IT companies but instead work and create their own products. Product oriented companies have a good work culture compared to any Indian companies as 'American mindset' is different from 'Indian mindset'.

4. Everyone believes IT is a glamorous industry. There is other side of it. It requires a lot of hard work, talent, dedication to survive, but it depends on project and the type of role which I mentioned above. Indian companies are customer driven and the truth is they can't make their own decisions always but often brand themselves as No.1. Customer or the client has the last laugh always. If the customer says the entire application has to be rewritten(coded in Java/.NET or any language) within 5 months and deployed into production(daily use), most managers don't have the choice of saying 'No' as it will affect the brand name of the organization before prestigious clients. It may reflect as an act of cowardice or incompetency and in future more projects can't be billed if the client decides to move to another Indian service provider, for example from TCS to Cognizant. Developers are the ones who are primarily affected as they slog all night and even in weekends to meet the deadlines. While the software is in production and being used even if "One page cannot be displayed error" shows up, the matter is seriously escalated and the same needs to be resolved by the developer within few hours(most cases), else it is considered a breach of Service Level Agreement and it will impact business relations.

Those doing support, testing are primarily not affected much by such deadlines. In certain cases, Testers are also in trouble if they are not able to catch a defect during internal testing.

5. Switching companies/US Visa stamp/Onsite/Pays-Product oriented companies generally offer a good pay compared to Indian IT service companies. Indian IT companies do offer a good pay,but long term growth in an organization is impossible as 'Indian mindset' never allow mutual coexistence and it involves a lot of politics. Most employees leave an organization frustrated. Most companies start their package as 2.75 lacs(may sound glamorous) but after deductions the take home salary would be pathetic. Hikes are generally 10% hikes and they don't lead anyone anywhere. Most employees switch companies for more pay as while switching companies generally they get Rs.10K more per month(most of the cases). Indian IT companies do their business in dollars and pay employees in Indian salary. That's the way they make profit.

Working for a bigger organization you have mild job security and smaller companies offer more growth and only merit is the means of survival. Evening a bit of non-performance, an Engineer may lose the job in a smaller software company, though he may be aware of the technology. Mistakes are simply not accepted. In a smaller organization an employee will have lots of work and hence lot of growth and thereby lot of recognition. In smaller companies, an employee's salary will grow from 1.5 lacs to 3.5 lacs and even an onsite opportunity to work in US or Canada. Travelling onsite is often in service companies and not much in product companies as product companies themselves have their offices worldwide so it doesn't necessarily requires a person to travel from India to other place in most of the cases. Working with clients at onsite involves more pay as salary is in dollars and while they come back to India dollars are converted to Indian rupees. In a smaller organization, an employee works for hours and does the work of two indivduals. There is more growth and recognition as it's easy to get lost in a big organization but not in a smaller one.

Getting a US stamp visa in passport is considered a privilege. Most girls prefer only to marry such a 'man' and parents also have a mindset to give their daughters to such men as they believe that such men would give their daughters a happy and secured life. But it doesn't mean that other Software Engineers are bad or useless. Everyone are talented but the only fact is that they didn't get a chance or opportunities as such opportunities are limited and rarely without politics.

6. Test of competency- Most Indian IT companies conduct competency exams every year. So apart from working an employee should also study, gain knowledge and prove his competency. Such exams are directly linked to appraisal and hikes. The hike is generally 10%, so if an employee flunks in this exam, the company may use this as a weapon to fire the employee when it doesn't needs his contribution anymore.

Now let's explore my own life in Indian Software industry. It has seen up's and down's, successes and failures and ofcourse lot's of politics. Now it's all about how I dealt various scenarios in life.

I had lots of personal problems and responsibilities. My life was tough, but I did my best to add color to it. I haven't got siblings so I was definitely lacking experienced guidance and mentorship. So majority of my learnings in life were on my own and it involved a lot of experiments, failures before I set myself stable in life without assistance. God do exists because he did send some good professors, lecturers, some good people with interest in fine arts, some railnuts and some good Bengalis to make sure I always grew up in the right manner.I was stressed by them to focus on values more than wealth in life. This was the advice given by my mentors. Maybe that's why I think 'v' comes before 'w' even in the list of English alphabets.

I worked in a call center during recession before joining IT as a campus recruit. I put in a lot of work during my training but at the same time made some good friends as well. I was trained in Eastern India and it was an enjoyable experience. I also managed to find time seeing various places in India as it generally takes a few weeks before you start working on a project after training. My first project was the role of Analyst in a support role where I need to take care of a testing environment while testers do their job of testing. The job didn't involve much challenge, but a job is a job and job is God. That was my principle. I use to do the work allotted and then I would settle in the comfortness of my chair and starting learning Java on my own. Java is a ocean and mastering it is a tough task, but I dream of making it a reality one day. It's not for money, wealth or fame, but it's a passion to do things or rather wonders that would make things work for users across the globe. It's an art of doing things or rather to make things for someone who would be using the application in some other part of the globe. It is also a service to humanity.

For the first weeks, I was a bit free. Then I was allocated some small responsibilities. I gladly accepted, but I still continued to expand on my knowledge side by side. Even compromised on my habit of traveling and I devoted more time for expanding knowledge. Even some friends commented that I am not spending much time with them in weekends and some even told that "I have changed".. Funny. This is Chennai mindset or rather the entire South Indian. People aren't sure of what other person's journey is about but good at advising and commenting.

I was working with a couple of girls who were senior to me. Not many people in industry know that whenever something is told first, 100% of it couldn't be entirely understood. I missed a few points. While giving a playback session, I made a few mistakes. Now this was taken as a chance to lower my confidence. The two women gave me some good "firings". I was amused. I know that such things happen in industry to undermine a subordinate's confidence and take control. This is called as politics and generally done by seniors to prevent a junior's growth. By nature, I had a good command over my language, English was good and I knew how to carry myself with genuine professionals and not people who assume themselves to be professionals as they aren't true professionals. Maybe people were jealous of me because I was indeed better than most of the present day youngsters of my era.  The primary reason being the fact I learnt to handle my life on my own while they were dependent on their parent's wealth.

As days progressed, I was brutally subjected to some harsh situations, but I kept my spirits up. This was the first time, I was exhibiting my own values and qualities in the corporate world. Then after a month, one senior person came and asked me," So Krishna when are you going to give your competency exam ?". My reply was "I would try to give it in May or June as the deadline is September". She replied,"You need to clear that otherwise you would be asked to leave the organization as per policy". My reply was short and sweet with a smile, "As per the policy you mentioned, the assessment needs to be given before ten months from the date of joining for an eligibility of career band progression. I would do that". The best way to handle a 'corporate guy' or an Indian IT professional is to be diplomatic, short and never let out your own opinions. Always use the word 'company policy', 'process', 'deliverable', 'industry standards' and try enjoying whatever job profile you are assigned to. While giving opinions prefer saying "company standards or industry standards". Maybe if you are talking to an American or even a UK guy you can convey your grievances, but regretfully Indians aren't so professionally understanding when it comes to talking to fellow Indians but they are more understanding while talking to the goras.

Coming back to my life....

I was working on a application and one morning it refused to respond. I was asked to investigate on it. The deadline was 30 mins. If I am not able to give a response by 30 mins, it is assumed that on-site employee in abroad should help me as sitting from Chennai I can't do much as an on-site employee can interact directly with the client and the development team. But my seniors simply denied that option. They asked me to work on it. But how much I can do as a support guy ? I am not a developer. I don't have an access to code. Without tools how will a mechanic repair a malfunctioning car ? Then another senior guy came and told me that I was entirely responsible for making it work. I had only one option. To face the battle myself. It requires a lot of courage to face defeat and the truth is victory is not possible without facing danger. I heard that employees in this project "should suggest possible reasons about why such a problem is occurring in an environment", so that the employee in on-site can followup with third party Development team and get it resolved.

To put it in lay man words it's like how suddenly Windows XP throws a blue screen error ?? Few users would comfortably restart the CPU and believe that they have solved the problem. They are good software users. The software engineers are those who prevent the blue screen error from ocurring again in this world. And non-IT Indians thought that Software Engineers get paid just like that ????  :-) .. Grow up guys!

Coming back to my story...

I was called for a meeting and before a team of 10 Engineers having more than 5 year of experience, I was insulted of being incompetent and useless. My question is what about those 10 guys with experience,they didn't have balls to volunteeer?

Why didn't they volunteeer ? Why me .. I was only a few weeks in the industry ?

The issue was resolved by itself, as it was not reproducible in the environment. And no one had an idea why it happened. But the industry expectation is that juniors must learn the art of solving things.

I showed my character here and I am proud. I decided to face it all by myself than tamely submitting or shying away. This is a deliberate attempt by most Indian software companies when they hire freshers. They target to shatter their confidence first during initial stages, so that an employee may not be able to think by himself but rather be a robot to be controlled by someone else for some purpose to meet their needs. When an employee loses courage, he can be easily manipulated.

After few months, there was another big issue. As usual, I had no access to code. But I had balls !!

I didn't have enough knowledge. But not many knew that I was a good network engineer as well apart from being a software Engineer. The problem was due to a IP address mismatch. Recently, there was a change and that change wasn't reflected in all files. Once it was done, things were fine. Now that I was nurturing optimism, I knew people would do something to hinder my growth because I was thinking on my own.  LOL !

My next task was to go and sit in conference room where there was a big Video screen. I would wait till all on site employees gather and take seat. Once they have gathered I would go down to first floor from 5th floor and inform my entire team. This was another deliberate act to give a job "below my competency" and to make myself feel small. The company would then give a normal appraisal rating and do cost cutting on my salary as a higher appraisal rating meant higher salary. This is one of the crucial stages of career where one shouldn't lose touch with his technical skills.

Most of the times the entry level employees were working hard while the 1-yr exp or 2-yr old would go to gym, coffee day, barista, cafeteria, DJ hall and try to enhance their flirting skills with all facilities provided by the organization itself. It depends on project. If you are in development, you won't get time, but if you are doing other type of duties, then there are lots of girls and recreation centers to do all these things!

I remember one scenario in which I was preparing a report while a bunch of girls were at the back gossiping about which movie actor looks good! And one of them replied,"Kamal Hasan is still good, in the movie Meendum Gokila he appears with a 'banian' with arms, while most men nowadays wear 'banian' without arms. It's sexy!". "I think he is working-out even at this age too."

I couldn't help myself but controlled my laugh. And after some time she would come and ask for status of incident. I can't do much against her as she was assigned by manager to mentor me and ofcourse all such politics are common in Chennai working environment as the city by itself lacks an outgoing mindset due to lack of exposure to realities in life.

Overall, it was some sort of pressure for me. But it was amusing. I had nothing to feel shame about, I was exhibiting character while other's weren't. Most of all I was true to my conciousness.

Days went by. In another incident, the issue was a bit critical, I was to support it and investigate it. She said that she was sick and leaving. She dropped an mail copying the manager(in CC) 'Asking me to resolve' but not a word was mentioned that she was sick and hence she was leaving early. This is a cunning tactic employed by most Indian software professionals to embarrass another colleague in a diplomatic manner and transfer the load. Now I had the task of finishing it ! Even if I go and inform this to senior management, the reply would be "it's a learning curve, you should take up more and more and more responsibilities". That's why I prefer to talk less. And of course, I did meet good people in my career and I thoroughly enjoyed interacting with them.

There was another amusing incident. There was an recurring issue and no one had any clue about it. In one of the team meetings, my senior was speaking as if he knew lots about it and suggested ideas. Then the task was allotted to me and some new joinees. The Manager told,"Please follow his ideas and get it resolved ASAP". After the meeting, when we went and asked,"He said that he wasn't aware and just suggesting". LOL !! It was now assumed that he knew how to solve but he was busy with his work. This is how people get good appraisals. This was later solved by a group of people including me. It was a team effort.


In another incident, one of my friends from North India was brutally ill-treated. He was a good programmer but unfortunately, he couldn't clear his competency exams. He was threatened that if the assessment is not completed, he would be sacked. His wife was pregnant at that time. He managed to clear the exam, but his wife suffered a miscarriage.

I may undergo through much tough situations in future but I won't bitch/lament about it. I know my character and what I need in life. Tomorrow, my wife would also like to have me with her during her delivery for my child. She would like to have my mental support. I should be in a position to give her a good life at all times. I remember how my friend and how my friend's wife felt at that time.

The mad race for onsite chance to fly abroad or get a US visa stamp in their passport is the reason behind all such politics. Most of the time that is the primary motivator. I would be narrating one final incident before closing this. I was sent to a new team to develop/enhance an application because of my performance and skills. IT is well known for smiling faces and they 'welcomed' me with a smile.

When market was good most of the existing members of the project left the company and switched to 'product' oriented companies as it offered a better pay. The one who stayed back were of limited experience and primarily hoping for on-site. There was an interesting person named Mr.X. He is the hero of this entire article going forward. Mr.X was a good developer/programmer but he had an inferiority complex. His English was not good, his communication skills were poor, but he had good knowledge. Compared to him, I was a bit behind in technical knowledge as I had limited experience, but I had good communication skills and my English was good. For some mysterious reasons, he felt me as a competitor for an on-site chance. Since he was already working in the project, I was to work along with him and learn the procedures/processes. But the guy showed a lot of attitude and behaved in a strange manner and purposefully hided many facts, so that I would have some dependency on him always. Since most experienced persons have left the organization, there was a natural dependency on him by the entire team. My manager asked me to work with him as I was also new. Not even a day was enjoyable working with him but I had a nice laugh at his immaturity and mental insecurity. The guy often come early and leave late(after Manager's leave), often would create trouble for other developers doing politics.

Once he wrote a review comment projecting himself as a bit superior in a hidden manner. He was pointing my small mistakes. I like to be corrected and I do welcome constructive criticism, but he kept the entire team's distribution list in CC. I instantly reported this to my supervisor in a friendly manner and asked 'why the team was to be notified?' when it was only between supervisor, X and myself. My contribution was also critical and most of all that guy's contribution was also critical. So my supervisor asked me to take it in the right jest and he gave me a reason.

I am not upset with anyone. It clearly indicated that Mr.X wanted me to be out of onsite competition. It wasn't a serious issue, but whatever option was available X took it to his advantage and pushed all developer's out of competition including those who were 5-6 yr experienced. In one of the team meetings when one of my colleagues was suggesting a solution this guy spoke indirectly as if it was 'Oh it's silly'. Soon after the meeting my colleague came and told me,"You come from the state of Tamilnadu and he is also from the same state. How come you are nice and this guy behaves in a trash manner ?". I have to accept this remark and this remark is quite often made in IT industry.

I continued to watch the game of politics being played at senior level with senior developer's continuing to fight against Mr.X's mind game. He was able to do politics primarily because he had already been in the project for some time and hence was aware of few extra things which even senior developer's may lack. Senior Developers may have technical knowledge, but how an application behaves is entirely dependent on the project and it comes only by experience.

Whenever I consulted Mr.X,  Mr.X would say he is busy, but would always find time to speak to a girl next to him. It amused me even more. And also girls nowadays like getting attention from men. He was doing the right thing. If you go and speak to a girl working in Indian IT industry about professionalism and corporate policies, they may think that you are from a different universe and even 'mad'. The primary reason being the fact that present day youngsters like watching movies involving romance, love and not many are interested in learning the art of Engineering. It is always easy to grow up in Indian IT industry if you are girl. Most men actively show special interest when it comes to women and teach them a lot of things. If you happen to be a man, then you must undergo whatever I have faced. If you are lucky you may get into good people, else you may need to work along with people like Mr.X mentioned above.

Mr.X continued to cause headaches for other developers and many others started giving him the silent treatment. But the battle was already over. Mr.X won the battle and got US visa stamped on his passport. The entire group of developers were very happy. He might have won the battle, but others were happy that at last they can work in a good environment. People like Mr.X exist in India mainly because their parents haven't brought them up in a proper cultured manner. Once while chatting with my father over phone I made a comment,"These guys would do anything for Chicago, but nothing for Gobichattipalyam".

Somewhere or the other I need to mention the topic, right  ?? ;-)

For those who aren't aware. Gobichettipalyam is a municipality/town in Erode district in Indian state of Tamilnadu. And of course I need not tell anyone where is Chicago ;-) ;-) ?

I have one humour to mention here, but this time from a non-IT circle. In the year 2002, after reading my article on 'Women Empowerment in Jharkhand', one of my school mates asked, "Where is Jharkhand ? Which city ?". That's the situation of youngsters in India. Working with white men is considered a privilege.

Indian IT industry is full of politics. But I proudly flatter myself that I have exhibited strong character even during very tough times. Integrity is more important and it requires a lot of character to do the right thing even when no one is watching. I proudly say that some of my friends and I have jointly displayed character in life by rising up to the situation even when people like Mr.X adopted a characterless behavior to achieve their goals.

One of my best friend's, a girl from Kanpur (Uttar Pradesh) who knows me for 15 years was a well wisher of mine. She was a pretty girl with nice looks and she would have done well if she was in cinema. She was younger to me by only a few months and happened to be a part of same organization as well, but for a different project. She said her team mates were good to her and she suggested that I should join her project instead. Since I know her a lot, I commented a bit frankly.

"You know the reason?".
"What reason?"
"It's because you are a girl and you are amazingly beautiful. Don't be too innocent. Aren't you aware of men ? Even if I join your project, some unhealthy politics would still be there. It's because I am a man and you are a girl. Obviously I won't be favored. You would know the meaning of difficulty in life if you were dark skinned, a bit fat and not so good looking."

She had no answer.

Time did change. When I became senior, I had some responsibilities. I needed to perform but at the same time, I need to take care of my juniors as well and help them nurture in their career. This is the time I showed my character or rather the values taught by my parents. I didn't do what Mr.X did to me. Right from day one, I nurtured them with optimism. Made them understand the dignity of profession(not the salary digits!) and how it feels to create something for users across the globe. Software Engineering is a field where apart from making money, one can also do a service. Whoever reported to me, luckily escaped the tormentation done by other employees and they gained good knowledge as well and I did win this battle. I haven't compromised on my family values.

Some of my friends told me that  I missed a good chance to travel abroad to South Africa and UK because of people like Mr.X. I honestly accept that I do feel a bit dejected, but I can't compromise on my values. I have earned people. Wherever I go, be it Kolkata or Bangalore. They like me for what I am and even God likes me because if He wasn't interested in me I wouldn't have got a chance to see some rare places like Rameshwaram, Ujjain and Omkareshwar. But I can't really lower my standards to that of Mr.X and work in an unethical manner.

So when I am going to New York, London, Sydney... ??? I have such wishes. I honestly accept.

Yevlavo pathutom life la.. Edhu yenna ;-) :-) ...

Victory through character. That's my dream. It will be a reality.

Signing off  with cheers,
Krishna Kumar.S
Junior KK

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Rituals beyond caste barrier

Dedicated to my younger sister. I assume that since you have reached my blog page, you must be my friend or a regular reader of my travelogues. Today be privileged to read about my sibling. It may take few minutes of your time, but it's worth reading.

Due to my strong personal convictions, I would like to say that this article doesn't supports a belief in Dravidian ideology or EVR Periyar's view, but my own feelings as a human being who feels the pain when a pin pricks, who gets cough and common cold when infected and who cries during sorrow.

I haven't disclosed much information about my sister as I wasn't interested in revealing that and it's because she is a girl. We are not siblings by blood, or birth but siblings by choice. We were good friends since childhood since school days and we believed we could be good siblings too. I know her since childhood, then lost in touch with her, but later we became close again in the last decade. I owe this lady a lot-a debt I can't pay back.

Everyone has got problems in life. I have my own problems too. It's always easier to advice, not knowing the gravity of the problem a person is facing. That is the way the present day world is going and that's the way everyone behaves. Any problem's intensity and pain could be felt only when you face it. I also faced it. I am not going to talk about it nor go deep into it, but I want the world to know a few things.

Scenario#1:

My life was in complete shambles. It was not my fault, but I can't blame the world for it and it won't lead me anywhere. Mistakes were done by everyone. It was the beginning of a sorrow phase. By nature, I am kind-hearted, gentle but this was a scenario where even a person like me would lose temper. I was completely justified in my anger. I felt bad to lose in a few things which I haven't even dreamed of losing in my life. I cracked and fell before the whole world. Everyone started to advice me and it hurted me. It was my ill-luck that I lost and it wasn't my mistake, but I paid the prize for it. My sister was different. She was the only person in this whole world  who said,"Bro-relax. Please forget it. I know how tough it could be, I understand your pain, people are blinded by their temporary success so they feel they are superior enough to comment about others misery". That was the time where I needed love and attention. I got it through my sibling.

Scenario#2:

There was a time when I was without a job during recession. My family laughed at me. I didn't feel bad, but I was amused at the immaturity of the world. But my sister didn't laugh at me. Neither she adviced me! She just told,"Bro-you are a talented unique person, think about me every time you feel down, after all I am the most important person in your life na ?". I liked that cute SMS which she sent to fire my spirits up.

Scenario#3:

Sometimes I do regret about the past. It doesn't mean that I lack maturity or I need to grow up. The fact is I have faced too many hardship. Someone might say,"Krishna, you are too frustrated or you are young to understand". No one would have handled a scenario better than what I have handled. When it comes to life, few things matter a lot. Those few things are namely people around you and your own luck. If these two things are not in favor of you, then forgot about success in anything in your life. Even Bill Gates would have been a failure and not a billionaire in his corporate life. Anyone who has brains will accept that. Those who don't leave my page right way and please don't come back.

I was in such a scenario many times. But I was still able to smile due to my sibling. Her cute smiles, childish voice, matured thoughts made even my tough,dark gloomy days of sorrow look good. What I needed in life was someone who could give hope of victory during my tough times. She certainly did. She genuinely understood that I was unlucky or rather unfortunate and a victim of injustice. That gave me the courage to fight the odds in life and I certainly did change the tide of the war in my life on my own. During Second World War-2, the USSR or Russia did lose during the intial stages while fighting with Nazi Germany, but the tide did change!

It was always easier to advice sitting under the comfortness of life. We seldom care to know what other person's journey life is all about, but we tend to advice. It's not that I hate advice, but the gravity of the situation was so high, I couldn't take it all on my own. My sister stood with me and only gave hope because that's the only thing I expected. She did nothing else. She didn't do my job, or give me money, or involve in my personal stuffs, but only gave hope. She always had a belief that her brother was a good person and understood the pains I went through.

There is a customary in Indian marriages i.e a sister ties the third knot of mangal sutra at her brother's marriage,which the brother ties over the neck of his bride. The first two knots are tied by the boy with the third knot tied by the sister. I even told my sister,"You have been a great sibling to me, why don't you take this right of being my sister ? You can tie the third knot in my marriage". My sister was not much interested in that and I could judge by the tone in her replies. But I appreciate her liberty in her views. I can understand why she wasn't much interested in volunteering in this.

Possible Reasons:
1. She is not related to me by blood or family.
2. She is not a brahmin, whereas I am one.
3. As she is not related to me, if she ties the knot, my own family members may feel let down for not choosing them and this might be a big problem for me. (She would have feared about my life and mental peace and forfeited it even if she wanted to be a part of this).
4. By birth, she is a modern girl with modern thoughts. She is not much into rituals.

In less than 2 months, I would be celebrating my 26th birthday, completing 25 years! Silver jubilee completion! I am no shy person when it comes to celebrating birthdays and this one being the completion of 25 years, it's always special. I strongly admit that I have handled life the best way it could have been to grow up to a situation where I am now amidst so many problems. Thanks to my "chellam" (favourite) who had played a role in it. I believe that a sibling is one who truly cares and need not be of same blood or from same kin or gothra or caste. I would rather prefer someone who has stood with me during tough times to tie the knot rather than give the right and honor to someone who does it for the namesake just because she shares a relation with me in my family. I don't mean to insult any religious sentiments or rituals here, but certainly words fail here to describe the countless good things my sister did to my life. I didn't share the same umbilical chord through which we took food when we were foetus. We didn't share the same womb. But I respect her so much.

Once I even told her, "Kuzhandhai (means a baby in Tamil language) , if you are not interested forget about the rituals. You need not take part in rituals as a sibling, but you can still perform this in a different way. When I get engaged, I will share my Facebook id and password. After my engagement, you change my status to 'Engaged' from Single and when I get married, you log on to my account again and change my status from 'Engaged' to 'Married'. You have tied the knot !!! How is it ? We can still follow the RITUALS BEYOND THE CASTE BARRIER".

-Krishna Kumar Subramanian
a.k.a Junior KK
A lucky brother to an intelligent sister.